One month is almost gone in 2020!!! How the heck did that happen so fast?
I should be making plans for a multitude of changes I’d like to make in this brand new year. Well, so far that’s not happening. I’m all over the place today. I was actually wondering around aimlessly and after giving myself a firm lecture I decided to get my procrastinating self to my desk & write.
Focus!!! Even writing has seemed like a millstone lately. I start writing and at the same time I’m attacked with the thoughts of “who the heck cares what I have to say”.
One minute I’m feeling peace and dancing and singing right along with the music…and thanking God for His will being done in everything. The next, I’m feeling so down and helpless. Right now I think a lot of how I’m feeling is that I’m completely clueless about how to help my sister with what she’s going through.
My brother-in-law had quintuple bypass heart surgery two days before Christmas. He’s had a couple of setbacks since then, which resulted in another surgery to remove blood clots from his lungs. Not to mention, all of this, on top of having Parkinson’s… Prayers please!!
I admit praying, at times, can be so very frustrating. Nobody wants to wait for the answers we need….right now! Down deep I have the wisdom to know that He doesn’t work on my time schedule. But, I still ask why way too many times if answers don’t come when, in my humble opinion, I think they’re past due.
Yes, I do trust Him. But, in my current state of being a human, I still ask Him why when I feel there should be a logical reason for certain situations. The Voice inside asks me, where’s your trust?
Once again I ask for forgiveness for lacking both the true faith and trust that I should have by now. Thankfully, He always forgives. His grace is amazing for us humans. He was one of us. He gets it. Covering our insufficiency was His reason for becoming human.
So, with all that said you can plainly see that doubts and the whys will always be with us this side of heaven. When we don’t understand we want to know WHY! It is what it is. Trouble and tragedy will happen to us all at various times throughout our lives.
However the good news is, we have the capability to change the way our minds work and the way we react. Read the good book, especially when you don’t understand reasons why. Pray for discernment before reading and then soak it in and read it again. The New Testament is the best place to start.
I truly believe that our goal on earth is to work our way closer and closer to the peace that Jesus left with us. He gave it. Why don’t we seek it and live in it? Even when you have to deal with the realities of true life, this peace which comes from true faith and absolute trust cannot be shaken. I truly hope and pray I get there one day before my time is up.
Just think about how we would appear to others if His peace emanated through us. Just imagine others seeing such a holy light shining from every pore They’d be begging us to tell them where they can get what we have. It’s our job to share the good news!
So, no matter how many times our peace is shattered and we don’t understand His ways, we can truly know that He’s got this. We win!
Now if only our stubborn human minds could somehow grasps this truth, we could all live in peace. Thank you God for your great sufficiency that covers our insufficiency this side of heaven. And, please help us in our unbelief.